收到了绝交信

There used to be a Chinese version of this letter, written quite some time ago back in April and much shorter, though it was never sent, as upon rereading I decided it was too emotionally charged with my personal misery and grudge about my friend’s premature death, which might not be doing you any justice. Then came trinity and finals thus for a long time the effort to rewrite a more deliberate version has been suspended. Long story short, the main reason for my avoidance of any communication with you is I still cannot (and maybe would never be able to) come to terms with the decision regarding my last chance to spend some time with my late friend. The time when we were supposed to go to Thailand together for a week but in the end somehow reduced to a daytrip to HK was the last time I saw her. Obviously you would be familiar with how things had turned out this way - I went to visit you instead. I am pretty sure back then I initially wanted to keep my words of a Thailand trip and would at least spend a few days with my friend. It never happened. Partly because of your insistence that I should visit you and that the trip might not be a good idea, and partly because back then in a relationship I was disposed to prioritise the emotional need of a partner (which I now deeply regret, as in my failure to take better care of my close friend). At this point you might or might not understand what I am trying to get across, so I will spell it out perhaps bluntly: certain past events and decisions related to you unfortunately got intermingled with certain regrets I would forever have about my late friend. Getting back in touch with you in any way would mean a constant reminder of the chance I missed of seeing my friend a bit more, which would in turn mean constant suffering. It is very tempting to think of counterfactuals, ie if I had spend more time with my friend and go to Thailand with her instead of visiting you, she might have been in a better state of mental health, then it might have reduced the probability of the tragedy happening. Or it might not, but we will never know. I think it is outright irrational to say a Thailand trip and spending 6 more days with her would have prevented her suicide. But then it keeps returning to my mind, what if there is a maybe 1% chance of this chain of causality being true? Speaking of modality, philosophers like to use a certain tool called possible worlds to analyse things. I think it is fair to say in the possible world where I had chosen to go to Thailand with my friend instead, either she would come back in a better state and thus at least postpone the moment of her suicide, or the tragedy still happened but at least I have much less regret. Either way it is a better world for me, and I would rather exist in that world. The decision of suicide is perhaps one of the most intriguing phenomenon in the study of causality - how do we know what has led to a person’s suicide? Of course underlying it is the depression and other mental illness, but then there is certainly a tipping point. It might have been something quite innocent at first glance, maybe a neighbour had made a certain callous comment; maybe a friend had ignore the person’s message; or it even might have been whether a phone rang at that moment. The lyrics of the Final Cut from pink floyd describes this well: ‘I held the blade in trembling hands / Prepared to make it, but / Just then the phone rang / I never had the nerve to make the final cut’. Would anyone (or any groups), except for the person committing suicide, be able to held responsible for the death at least to a certain extent? If we are to investigate the whole chain of events like forensic scientists, certain friends and family of hers might have been culpable. But then in the actual case things get complicated as she has her own free will (or at least partially, limited by her mental illness). Regardless of all these discussion on possibility and causality, I very much voluntarily hold myself culpable for my negligence of her while making the decision. I wrote all of these because I think I own you an explanation of how things happened, lest you grapple with an incomplete version of this story. Though I am not a practitioner of effective altruism, I do wish to reduce unnecessary sufferings, even if that means writing about an emotionally challenging event which I would very much want to avoid. Now you might have more information to tell yourself a better story. If you do have that story, please use it to reduce any potential suffering that you might still have. It would certainly be different from my story, and at this point I would rather not hear your story, but it’s a perfectly valid story too. Forgive my bluntness here, but please do not mistaken these as my intention to get back in touch - I do not wish to do so, and please do not respond unless you have something absolutely necessary to say (otherwise it might bring me refreshed misery). If you want to learn about my current situation, it would be available in social media posts (though very sparingly). Take care and wish you a pleasant summer ahead. 谭友们怎么看

就这样不挺好吗

/uploads/short-url/xFtVrRIucLP8IslMy6xOsOMz7Pe.jpeg?dl=1 The history of world is the history of the triumph of the heartless over the mindless, Humpy.

来个总结大师

Humpy: certain past events and decisions related to you unfortunately got intermingled with certain regrets I would forever have about my late friend. Getting back in touch with you in any way would mean a constant reminder of the chance I missed of seeing my friend a bit more, which would in turn mean constant suffering. 字面上中心思想应该是这一段 不过读完不知道其他细节，作为网友很难提出什么有效的、不伤害lz和写信人的看法

尊重祝福呗，不知道楼主发上来是想得到什么答案，如果是觉得被错怪的话一方面细节不够一方面纠结这个可能也没什么意义，如果想帮对方什么忙的话按要求不联系就是了。 我读下来感觉作者有可能也有抑郁症……

感觉是有一定人文社科背景的人写的 无论心理状态如何这么写都挺常见

如果有人给我这样的信，表面上我会希望对方一切安好，并且感谢他们的坦诚。 但是以我的角度，我会觉得莫名其妙，而且很庆幸我能和对方终止来往。

怎么让 GPT 写出这种信？

prompt加用汉弗莱的语气吧

Lit1: 不伤害lz和写信人的看法 清官难断家务事。 不过我一直以来都秉持着这种通牒似的诀别从来都不是想让对方 Humpy: reduce unnecessary sufferings 而是自我满足和自我解脱。

RJTT: 自我满足和自我解脱 reads selfish to me Lit1: 人文社科

套桑中肯，自圆其说居多，但不知道两人细节给这么一长串不好说 AWS: reads selfish to me 可以理解成我只是比较委婉没说原文“掉书袋” 西方黑话包装中式内耗文风

自从上次泥潭直播差点摔死之后 我现在啥也不怕 cant be worse

好长啊 还有绝交信这种东西 本INFJ只会doorslam

AWS: selfish 我现在比较中老年圣母，很多时候会想如果这能够给对方带来一丝救赎也未尝不是一件好事 Lit1: 不知道两人细节 细节其实不太重要，扯起来总是会鸡毛蒜皮，所以就算是知道了也很难评价。 我年轻的时候如果是当事者，对待这种长文，多半是只回一个 お。

RJTT: 比较中老年圣母 我觉得在一定程度上我也是，尤其是politics 但是跟人互动的时候 (IRL) 有那个confidence to be more jagged，like idc

这小作文写的让我想起了ex…写这个就是宣泄自己情绪，把自己写爽了

现在才觉得找partner情绪稳定最重要…

小作文写这么长吗，这得给她花了多少

换我就用Humpy的另一段话了 The relationship which I might tentatively venture to aver has been not without some degree of reciprocal utility and perhaps even occasional gratification, is approaching a point of irreversible bifurcation and, to be brief, is in the propinquity of its ultimate regrettable termination.

就我一个人吗？ 长篇大论自己不知道怎么应付朋友去世的情绪，不去看心理医生，搁这儿甩锅 怪人。虽然很有可能是不知道怎么cope，但把话说成朋友的死可能和你有关系，我觉得这人也怪奇葩的。

Humpy: I wrote all of these because I think I own you an explanation of how things happened owe

tldr; 我朋友死了，是因为我来看你，没去看她，所以我不理你，我没有错，虽然以上所有都没有因果关系，但我就是要说出来膈应你，嘿嘿 这种人自私却不自觉，还敢标榜利他主义

这是中文吧？

另一个LLM总结的TLDR版本，供楼下参考 LLM的总结 这封信主要讲了以下内容： 1. 写信的缘由 作者曾写过一封中文信，但因情绪过于个人化而未寄出。后来因学业繁忙，重写一事被搁置。现在写这封信，是为了向收信人解释自己为何一直回避与对方联系。 2. 核心原因 作者回避联系，是因为 无法接受与已故友人相关的某个决定 。这位友人是作者的好朋友，后来自杀身亡。 3. 关键事件 作者原计划和那位朋友去泰国旅行一周，那是见她的最后机会。但最终行程缩水为一天香港游——因为作者当时在伴侣（即收信人）的坚持下，改为去探望收信人。作者后悔自己当时在感情中总是优先满足伴侣的情感需求，而没能更好地照顾朋友。 4. 痛苦在于关联 与收信人相关的过往决定，与作者对已故友人的终身遗憾紧紧交织在一起。只要与收信人恢复联系，就会不断提醒作者错过了多陪朋友几天的机会，从而带来持续的痛苦。 5. 关于“如果当初”的思考 作者反复纠结于“如果当时选择去泰国，朋友会不会精神状态好一些，悲剧是否可能避免”，尽管理性上知道这未必能阻止朋友自杀，但哪怕只有1%的可能，也足以让人痛苦。作者用哲学中的“可能世界”概念来说明：在那个选择去泰国的可能世界里，无论结果如何，自己的遗憾都会少很多。 6. 对因果与责任的反思 作者探讨了自杀的因果链——抑郁症是根源，但触发点可能极其微小（如一句冷言、一条未回复的信息）。虽然朋友有自由意志，旁人未必有责，但作者 自愿承担一部分责任 ，认为自己当时的疏忽难辞其咎。 7. 写信目的与明确态度 作者写这些是为了给收信人一个完整的解释，希望减少对方可能的痛苦。但 明确表示不想恢复联系 ，不希望收到回复（除非绝对必要），因为那会重新带来痛苦。对方若想了解近况，可看社交媒体。 8. 结尾 祝对方夏天愉快。 一句话概括 ：这封信是在解释作者因对已故友人的愧疚而无法与收信人保持联系，并明确划清界限，不希望被回应。

不知所云 言不及义 空洞无物 强词夺理 牵强附会 用人话讲就是又臭又长。 如果是平信，它最好的归宿就是垃圾桶。如果是email，删除然后清空trash。 Humpy: If you want to learn about my current situation, it would be available in social media posts 不要担心我会担心你的近况，因为我会在看完这封信的第一时间跑去unfollow所有跟你相关的社媒。

If you asked me for a straight answer then I shall say that, as far as we can see, looking at it by and large, taking one time with another, in terms of the average of departments, then in the final analysis it is probably true to say that, at the end of the day, in general terms, you would find, that, not to put too fine a point on it, there probably wasn’t very much in it one way or the other, as far as one can see, at this stage.

以我控制不住的troll精神 肯定回 难怪话这么多，你妈也死了 /uploads/short-url/5edUHXSYx9JlJD6RGORtDCgM8vn.png?dl=1

Goodbye good riddance

内心戏这么多吗？

你就回一个： k bye 保证对方崩溃

我觉得收到也不错

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/uploads/short-url/t24Vh7pLLFBGP3AHjP0hRdds9aq.jpeg?dl=1

不知内情 不予评价 楼主发这个出来是想大家帮你网暴对方吗

这是在干什么

什么文学大师 看不完 pass

还是学文科好 想怪别人找不到严格因果的时候可以说自己（是/不是）有效利他主义 Humpy: Though I am not a practitioner of effective altruism, I do wish to reduce unnecessary sufferings 全文看下来，就像楼上tt老哥说的，为了让自己不因为朋友的去世内耗（which在我看来 主因是朋友的精神问题，次次因是改行程没见到最后一面） 通过绝交信让别人内耗。 我听说古代的君子 都是严格要求自己 而不是责怪别人（所谓不迁怒，不贰过）。楼主的这个朋友/partner可以用华丽的词来构建一个华丽的绝交信，但是对于suffering的根源没有解构和自省。这是品性上的习惯，即使继续跟他交往，类似的情况可能还会发生。 直接回一个 divinebaboon: k bye 是最好的办法

为什么会觉得莫名其妙呢？理由人家不是都讲得很清楚了吗？可以试想一下如果自己很多年非常好的朋友，了解了自己的生命，自己要承受多大的痛苦。如果另外一个人的出现会让自己的痛苦重现，但是自己又觉得并不是另外一个人的错，这么写这么解释不是很合理的吗？

Sounds like cop out to me. 换我我就回个网图 /uploads/short-url/u10aCX1iCfNAJAk8cLLlI38OXMU.jpeg?dl=1

读得出来写的人虽然言辞看似理性但落笔的时候非常irrational，最近工作上有过类似的事情发生所以能理解对方的出发点。亲友离世时写作是grief processing的一种自我表达方式，留存在自己文档里或者自行与收信人断开联系都可以理解，但明知道correlation≠causation却还发给收信人强行绝交就有点把朋友当套用了

虽然我个人并不认可李翊云，但是我觉得可以把她写的那本书甩LZ ex 脸上 自然万物只是生长（Things in nature merely grow）

會不會為了別的事找藉口和樓主絕交 講的冠冕堂皇的 不然解釋一下正常人就懂了，不是什麼很複雜的情況 還看我 social media 咧。樓主對她有很強需求嗎？

这是啥刻板印象……那我还觉得人文社科写不出这么多typo呢 要是没心理问题，那赶紧躲这人远远的吧，对方知道楼主读下来肯定是不好受的还发

文中用的很多jargon就是人文社科类倾向用的，我正好学过类似认得出来，高级黑一下 Lit1: 可以理解成我只是比较委婉没说原文“掉书袋” 西方黑话包装中式内耗文风 不知道这人有无心理问题，毕竟某些学这些但不精通的人有把自己情感理论化的倾向 你觉得有的话我也不反对

我喜欢发一段文字后doorslam

啊抱歉，网上看到长篇大论就说文科的太多了，我不知道你的claim是grounded 我当然也不知道作者有无心理问题，但我觉得站在楼主的角度，有是更加善意的猜测。要不然又这么共情死者又不共情楼主有点怪，可能还是楼主给的细节不够吧

想挽回关系就回复呗，话说居然还有绝交信这种东西么，我感觉可能更多的是觉得自己没有被重视听到，而非真的绝交

这东西不都是小学的时候玩的吗？ 成年人的世界绝交可太简单了，不需要长篇大论，直接彻底就不联系 life will still go on